The plan this week (and next week) was to write as many “old planned posts” as possible before heading to Japan. Wednesday afternoon I encountered an odd computer problem (some failed update really messed it up) that took me until today to fix (I even had to resort to do a full recovery of the original set up, a first in my long computer life).
The result of course is no posts here and being behind on schedule with the packing and all.
I still plan on writing a few things next week (I’ll need to take breaks from all this packing thing).
Strange to think that next week we’ll be my last week living in France (forever? who knows? not me)
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Hello David,
Before writing this, not wanting to sound stupid, I talked with a good friend of mine who is Japanese (the only Japanese woman I know who is actually married to a Japanese man, actually). First of all, I want to wish you all the best in your adventure. It must be good for the spirit to feel all this passion and excitement and fear. There must be some fear…but you will master it and be the better for it.
I, on the other hand, am worried for you, which is silly, but there it is: I’m a worrier. I’m trying to put my finger what I’m worrying about. I’ve seen many women leave their country to who immigrate to Canada or the US to live in their spouse’s hometown, and the particular issues they face. You’re not in their situation, really. (They had babies right away – quite the kettle of fish….) And I do know that you’re smart and you know what you’re doing. You’ll be fine.
The cultural difference I have on my mind is this: in a culture where politeness is extremely important, I’m guessing that it may be hard to know where you stand with people at times. So if ever you’re not doing something well, not living up to expectations, offending people without realizing it…if you’re used to direct honesty, things may go from bad to worse without you realizing it, because you didn’t know how to read the signs. My friend called this…what was it? “Reading the air,” I think. Bad news and criticism won’t tend to be stated openly.That would be rude. My experience in grad school with a supervisor who was Korean (his behaviour was his own; I don’t mean to stereotype) was that he was unwilling to tell me that he was unhappy with my work or to alert me to the fact that I had offended him once, causing him to decide to stop offering me any advice whatsoever. That led me to do months of work for nothing, thinking everything was fine, and it ended up being a big factor in my decision to give up on getting a doctorate. What I learned from this is that some people will let things go from bad to worse without ever giving you a clue, and that you can find out when it’s too late to fix it. (Also: that I may possibly be less skilled than others at picking this up…causing me to be rather fond of people who show their emotions, and those who are not scared of offending people.) My wish is this: may it not happen to you! The culture shock will be extreme, not at all like going to the US, I’m quite sure of that, and it will go through different stages, each stage with its own challenges. You’re not just integrating into a country but into a family, it seems to me, and that can be hard. Not that you’re going to post about that part!! I know.
Bon voyage, and happy blogging (wow, do you ever blog!!). From what I see on Wikipedia, Takamatsu looks beautiful, and I’m sure you will meet lots of wonderful people.
I have a funny story to tell about my Japanese friend who has become canadianized enough that she sometimes forgets to “act Japanese” when she’s with Japanese people, which once led to quite the contretemps with her mother-in-law. Whenever it seems like you need cheering up, I’ll tell it to you. ; )
Hey “Pomme C”,
Thanks for your warnings and advice, but worry not, I will mess up. It’s a fact. There is no living abroad without messing up and failing to read clues once in a while. It’s part of the package and I know it. And I think that knowing it beforehand is huge (I didn’t when I first moved to the US).
Will I have culture shock? Of course.
Will I say or do stupid things? Obviously.
But the only way I can prepare to that is by being aware that it will happen, and that’s a huge advantage, believe me. (I can compare with my first experience in the US, and with the many experiences of the many foreigners I worked with in Paris, my job there was among other things, taking care of those people’s culture shock).
Also, the fact that I already know most of the people I will interact with in the first weeks (except for my students) helps. Oh, and my boss is Canadian, not Japanese. Huge difference. 🙂
That seems like the right attitude.
Yay for the Canuck boss. ; )
Hope you can find your time balance.. Keep up the good work!